To counteract all the projects I currently have going on (with stressful deadlines), I have been reading humorous memoirs to make myself LIGHTEN UP ALREADY
Forthwith, I give you the first of my current list of favorites:
1. Tina Fey, Bossypants
Classic. I wrote a song about her in 2004 and she is still smart as a whip. I dare you to read this on the subway or in line at the grocery store and not burst out snorting and crying "happy tears", as my daughter says.
Why yes, that is an autographed copy.
I stood in line for over an hour at the Union Square Barnes and Noble to get her to sign this (but really it was to give her the EP with my Tina Fey song on it.) I was NERVOUS. She was totally pregnant and looked amazing and was being nice, to boot, to everyone, it seemed. Even to the SUPER ANNOYING people who were, one might say, star****ers, ie; there just to gawk, name drop, and tweet. I was incensed. "I worship her, people!" I wanted to shout. "And furthermore have written a song to prove it! What have YOU done? HUH? HUH??!!?"
DISCLAIMER: I actually set out to write a song about how I wanted to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
My husband was at flight school in 2004 and I had watched the entire series while he was gone. I sat down to write a Buffy-centric song but there was a Saturday Night Live Christmas Special on TV (I know-Multitasking!!). I realized I actually wanted to be Tina Fey. The song came out in one go. My friend Lee Ann from The Biddies, when she heard it, said, "You are on crack".
SIDENOTE: Joss Whedon does get an honorary mention in the song. If I ever got to work with him in ANY capacity I would literally die.
So. I was at the end of the line. The end of a long assembly line, basically. Heart pounding, I approached Tina. She looked tired by this point, her spirits finally fading. The magical moment came..
and I blurted out, beaming, words rushed, "Iwroteasongaboutyou!!"
Smooth. Realll smooth.
Her assistant threw it into a pile of other swag she had received from her superfans. The Goddess smiled wanly. Likely she thought I was as crazy as that stalker intern character on 30 Rock.
To this day I don't know if it went directly into the trash. I'm guessing it did. Either way, it doesn't matter. The important thing was just to show up for myself, in a way. I felt so elated, just giving that little song to her. Hubby was also incredibly supportive and got why I needed to do it (pushed me, even. This is what a good partner will do even if it annoys the crap out of you at times). I just needed to hand it to her, and walk away.
The bassist on the record actually subbed in the SNL band during Tina's Sarah Palin sketch and had the song in his pocket, was standing right behind her..but couldn't close the deal. I don't blame him. Because even in an autograph line I was a complete blithering idiot.
Here's the song. I don't know how to make it show up directly here, so-sorry you have to click on this. I am learning this blogging stuff. Stay tuned for Book #2..